The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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