That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
