I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
