Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
