id be glad to
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
