what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
