ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
