I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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