Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
