But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
