I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
