I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
