It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
