white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
