He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
