ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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