I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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