i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
