Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
