There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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