I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
porn star boner night. come get it.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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