SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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