I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
