there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize