hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize