Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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