well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
