im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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