so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
