My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
