you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
you had me at cake vodka
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
