That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
