craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
