so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
