just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My bed smells like the plague
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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