I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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