My friends, they love my intelligence
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
