don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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