Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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