the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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