I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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