I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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