actually, I'm a sock model
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
