Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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