Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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