when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
