tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Ladies don't puke and tell
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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