dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
