it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
