we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
