It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
two words...techno handjob
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
