i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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