It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
