have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
