Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
