I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
