At least make sure they are 18
Why
Jerry, you need to find god
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize