We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i've created a new STD.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
