I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
