Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You ruined the universe
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
