I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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