also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
