What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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