I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
