Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
