he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
My balls are so social today.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
