If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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