I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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