I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
that may or may not have been my penis.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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