I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
whose parrot is this?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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