I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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